When asked what type of person my mother is, nothing but free spirited comes to mind. She is the most comical being I have come across in my lifetime, but all that changes once she wants to start having the talk. I knew when it was coming based off of her stern expression and folded hands. Her shoulders propped back and her chin held high, a necessity due to me being a few inches taller. From the age of 12, my mother began giving me a series of talks. Aside from just the typical “don’t have sex and don’t be stupid” she taught me how a man should respect me and treat me right. She educated me on little signs that might hint that he’s not in the relationship emotionally- rather sexually. Rising the discussion of sex. As any other gawky teenager would, I basically covered my ears and turned the other way every time she tried having the talk.
Recently I came across a video that opened my eyes to the many awkward occurrences I came across in my adolescence. John Oliver did a segment regarding the lack of accurate, in depth sexual education given to students across America. He made it very clear, "Only 22 states mandate [sexual education] and only 13 require the information presented to be medically accurate... You wouldn't accept a history class not being historically accurate." Although his job is to mock current events worldwide, I feel he did an appropriate job addressing the issue. He points out that it's important to discuss sex in school because it's a touchy topic that parents and their kids don't like to talk about. Unfortunately, schools don't always do the best job in educating students effectively.
The sex ed. talks began in sixth grade. In health class we were required to learn the anatomy of the reproductive system as well as go over “fun” exercises about STDs. I remember standing in front of the class with a male classmate, crumpled script in hand, and performing some ridiculous skit regarding the spread of STDs. Being a 6th grader, it was like a circus act. The whole class broke out in laughter after any remark relating to sex, including me. In a way it was a welcoming environment because we were all immature, but also because we all recognized how ridiculous the curriculum was. Aside from a few activities, the class was constantly quizzed on the anatomy of the male and female reproductive organs. Realistically, memorizing a diagram is not going to promote safe sex. Knowing that testes produce sperm doesn't exactly prevent me from contracting STDs or becoming pregnant. Sex education was more or less a superficial skim of facts that were not put to use. Yes, the facts are necessary to know, but not applying them to the topic of safe sex has no effect on adolescence at all.
Every day my mom came home from work and asked what I learned. Still in her dress shirt and slacks, we'd sit on the stools in the kitchen, I'd regurgitate a few facts, she'd stress to me how important they were, and I'd move on with my day. I don’t think I could stress to you enough how many times I've heard the words come out of her mouth, "One decision can ruin your entire life, Natalia. Don't make a stupid mistake."
I felt accepted and heard by my mother, but chose to stay quiet about sex. I didn’t want to ask any questions about it. I wanted to stay away from it entirely. Naturally, it was outright uncomfortable. My mother made it a necessity to remind me more than often, "I'm always going to be here for you. You can speak to me about anything. I can't promise not to be mad, but I promise it will only be temporary." Yeah, it might not have been the best decision on my part. Regardless, she’s my mother. It's definitely hard to speak to a parent about a subject as personal as sex.
At the end of the course, each student was to write a letter swearing to remain abstinent, and mail it to themselves. Our teacher had taught us the dangers of STDs in order to scare us, and then made us swear to refrain from sexual activity. When you tell a teenager not to do something repeatedly, it becomes a taboo, and I can assure you that they become compelled to find out more on their own. Sure, the whole condom on a banana lesson is cliché, but my class was never taught how to practice safe sex. We only discussed what sex could do to your body and to stay away from it. Essentially, the school district made students swear their lives to abstinence, and that was their way of "protecting" us.
Sometimes I walk just to walk. Discover new places and just think about the fact that I could be anyone to anybody. The two people I’m sitting between now barely even know my name, and I’m perfectly okay with that. My faults from the past are forgotten, and I’m starting with a clean slate. I’m excited not to be judged off of my past but rather what I present now. Bringing myself to a new environment clears my mind of stress and worries. Almost literally leaving everything behind is liberating to me. On the other hand, being in a new place makes me question if I'm safe.
While I am currently in my transition between two very different communities, I'm discovering how the lack of sexual education displays itself in college students. Not only are STDs prominent, but more importantly, students don’t seem to grasp the definition of sexual consent. Sex isn't literature, there are no assumptions.